Grace. Don't you just love that word? In the Oxford dictionary this word means "simple elegance or refinement of movement." The biblical meaning of this word is even more beautiful- "unmerited mercy that God gave to humanity by sending his son Jesus Christ to die on the cross" or "the help given to us by God because God desires us to have it not necessarily because of anything we have done to earn it." What an intoxicating word- 5 letters that when put together are so powerful that it becomes something we hope people see in each of us at some point in our lives if we are lucky and one that I am certain is something we all like to think will come out of us in spades during the darkest storms in our life. Perhaps we think of it as a legacy to leave behind when we are no longer here in our earthly body. Something we can hope that others will say about us... "she always had such grace" or "she handled everything with grace." What a beautiful thing to leave behind this world when all we have is our legacy left when we depart.

The word GRACE has always been one of my favorite words. It is most probably because I think of Princess Grace Kelly when I hear the word. A woman who lived up to her name with elegance and poise. A woman known for her beauty and graceful nature...an American actress who would become a Princess. Most little girls dream to live the fairy tale and become a Princess one day. I see it in my own little girl and how she loves beautiful dresses and tiaras. She twirls in them "gracefully" as she dreams about being at the ball. This is what made it important to me to show grace in my life. I do not think we ever outgrow that feeling of wanting to be graceful in something. After all, it is not difficult to show grace in the sunshine that this life provides but with my storm upon me it was now my time to stand with grace and show it in the darkness. I have thought a lot about this desire I had and why I felt this so strongly and I believe it is because in this journey there are very few things you can control- but how you handle it is one of those.

I remember distinctly having a conversation with Josh prior to the biopsy about the potential outcome and I said "no matter what- I want to handle this with grace." Why was that that so important to me? It was important to me to show my children that we can handle anything given to us. It was important that not only my daughter to see this but my son who has a natural warrior spirit to see grace in a fight. We can have the warrior in us all like Connor McGregor in a UFC bout but we can look like Princess Grace as we do it. I wanted to show my family and friends that giving up or living in depression was not an option for me. I wanted to take the punches and know I would come out bruised but not defeated. I wanted everyone to see me give it my all and stand tall. I wanted my husband to not feel guilty as he would have to return to deployment after emergency leave. That mind set was paramount in my journey for my own mental health. We all have that in us. My beautiful friends that have been given a cancer diagnosis you have it in you more than anyone. You will not feel graceful everyday. You will feel like this is too much to withstand. God will be with you and provide all the grace you need even on your darkest days. Remember you are a warrior like no other...Stand tall...and give cancer that left hook for the KO.